"Love yourself so that you can love others better"

What this "Love yourself so that you can love others better" means?

Sometimes I really think over this. Can you really love others if you love yourself more than others? Can you really think about others if you think just about yourself? Can you really think about thousands of people who live in abject poverty if you just love yourself and the list of questions keep on increasing.......

Almost everyone has a different take on this but no one could give me an answer that could satisfy me or must say my conscious.

For some it means: Keep yourself in the first place, love yourself and take every decision thinking what will benefit you or what will make you happy and let others take a back seat. Whatsoever happens to them is none of my business.

For others it’s: keep loving yourself so that you remain happy and with this happiness within can make you bring a smile to others faces as well.

Last time I heard it from a "spiritual leader" and I was aghast to hear that... I mean how a person who’s preaching love and selflessness can say this and I really couldn't figure out what that means. I really want to figure it out but it’s been 15 days and the struggle is still on....... and I’m still not sure whether I’m heading in the right direction or not. Hence I decided to post it here. I request everyone who reads this post to please comment on whether you buy this or not.....

Here’s my take on this one-liner.

Love yourself so that you can love others better to me means love others the way you would love yourself. Love others the way you want yourself to be loved. It never means being selfish and just loving yourself. It means in every situation be it good or bad think what would you have expected for yourself from others and do the same to them because after all “Love is all about giving selflessly”.

Well if you do that you would definitely love others better. You will never take a decision selfishly and you will do good to others always. Outlook will change and world will surely become a better place to live.

I just wish that this one liner used by spiritual leader just meant this.

Religious or Spiritual? Shall we not give it a thought??

A few days back my sis came to me and narrated me a conversation between a group of friends. During conversation somebody came up with a question after looking at a photograph. The question was "which sect/ religion do you believe in?" Everyone gave his/her preferred answer and some remained mum about it. But one answer that made this conversation memorable was an answer that actually was thought provoking. He said I believe in a particular sect but "I'm not religious but I'm spiritual".

This one line startled me. I'm a theist and a firm believer of karma etc.

What's the difference??

I do think being religious brings in some kind of rigidity with itself. People start getting possessive about it and with due course of time they become so possessive about it that they can't hear anything esp. negatives about it. What will we get spending so much on building all these religious buildings (saying this I don't want to offend anyone)? If God would have stayed at those places someone would have found him and saints would never have said "tera sai tujhmein hai, .............................". Well as per my opinion these places were made with a view that people can come to this place, sit and meditate, but we started worshiping these only. We started fighting for them and could even kill his creation (human beings) for the sake of saving (that's what we actually say whenever we do some brutal act/when we fight in name of God) our religion.

Spirituality: I'm nothing, I want nothing. When people start looking for their ownself they forget what's their religion. When they forget what religion they have, what will they fight for?? Spirituality brings oneness and feeling for others.

Well I think that a person should be spiritual rather than being religious. This will increase brotherhood and will help in making this earth (esp. India as there are so many religions) a beautiful place to live.

PRACTICAL: A refined word for "SELFISH".

What does being practical means?

It means think with your brain, and let heart take a back seat. It means keep your emotions at a side and just think what's more beneficial for you. This word was good when was used by people in business b'coz there these feelings and emotions don't hold any place and what matters is money though my conscious doesn't even accept that but still.... 

But shall this word be really there in our relationships and personal lives??? I really doubt.

If for instance parents thought that they don't see any benefit in upbringing their child as they don't see any benefit in doing so, the situation would have been different.

If that ALMIGHTY wanted us to think always about ourselves, he wouldn't have given us a heart, he wouldn't have created feelings,emotions and all that that creates a bond, which bounds parents to their child, a lover to his beloved etc. The creator of this universe can't be a fool to do that.

When a friend (a very practical friend actually) of mine used to tell me "be practical VT" I always used to think what that really means but today I understand.


To me this word PRACTICAL is a refined word for "being SELFISH".

To me it means think of yourself first, love yourself and leave others, do everything for yourself and don't even think of others, and have different opinions for yourself and others (in the same situation), don't bother if someone else is in trouble because you aren't in the same situation and that's why you have all the rights to enjoy......... and this goes on.

But shall we not think about it and care for people rather than just think about ourselves. I don't want to be that way. I don't want to be that practical, i mean selfish though i try saying no to what's beyond my range which I never used to do before.

Well I'm not very sure whether I'm right or wrong but as far as I have seen and understood people and life, that's my perception about the "Practical" people.

Hey whosoever reads this, do tell me whether you buy this or not because I always believe that introspection and reviews have the power to change one's views.

Friends????

Sometimes I try and think on this...

who are friends????

Those who stand by u when u need them the most or those who leave u in lurch at times u need them the most and say that they want u to stand up and grow by yourself????

I personally couldn't make out whom can u actually call a true friend, but i suppose someone can make me understand this very soon. And if that doesn't happen then this life definitely would.

My dad always says "friends parakh kar bnane chahiye". I never listened to this bcz I always felt its just from heart to heart. But now I feel he's right. And why wouldn't he be.... he has all the experience....

I could count my friends on my fingers... I knew they will stand by me when I'll need them the most but this is life.... nobody stands by... we are all alone in times of need.... they just want something for themselves and when they get/don't get, they leave.... leaving a mark on your heart making u remember them always.....


I'm an introvert and don't say much and keep everything to myself but when I spoke out, what I got to hear was what I never expected.

Now I think its always better to be quiet about things bcz sometimes even those closest to u, those who say they trust u, don't believe u... then who else will???


Days pass by and I'm still unable to figure out what's right and what's not???? This question mark in my mind takes the hell out of me...

I know I'll get an answer for this someday.... just waiting for the same....

@ Life

Thanks for teaching me what I wouldn't have ever learned. I wish what I got to know today, I would have known a few years back. Then might be the life would have been different. But some things are destined to happen, and I think it was bound to happen this way so that I could learn that I would never ever have learned. Thanks for teaching me the biggest lesson of my life till date. Life is really a blessing. Live it to the best you can.

Getting answers for all the questions at the right time... :)

I always had a view that we get all the answers whatever we ask for, not when we want them but when the time has come. That's what I have experienced in my life. The answers to some questions I have been looking out for years, I have them today not because I was craving for them badly but because the time is right for me to know them. It might be so that years back I wouldn't have been able to understand things the way I can now.

@ Life

Life is not a race, it never was. We made it so. To me it's the most precious thing that has been bestowed upon us by that almighty. In my view it's actually a jigsaw puzzle that hasn't been solved by anybody. Things go in a particular order and by the time one starts to understand this puzzle, life changes its course making us helpless and all we can do is start from the scratch. Sometimes we plan things in a way and we are sure that things are bound to happen the way we think, but things change in just a moment and all the plans are burnt to ashes.

Life is short, and I feel everything that happens, happens for a reason. Sometimes we get to know them, sometimes we don't. Though sometimes people close to me say I'm secretive, introvert etc. but some things can never be said and it's better to be mum about them.

Sometimes I feel writing an anonymous blog is much much easier than writing an appellate one. There I could write any damn thing I felt like but this FEB I promised myself that I'll not write any anonymous one and hence I deleted one of the two that I used to write very often and couldn't delete the other one as i forgot its password but still no new posts on that too. But today I feel that I shouldn't have promised that to myself... but for me "promises once made can never be broken...."

Stuck again but pushing hard n not giving up

Sometimes some strange things so happen that it's difficult to keep them off your mind. Trying hard to keep it at a bay but something is pushing me again on the same row. I don't know where it is taking me. Trying very hard to be positive at every single moment... shunning away all negativity and trying hard that the things don't happen the way they are supposed to.... but this time it's getting harder with each passing day....

Feeling the difference :)

Life today seems different. Might be it's just because I'm looking at it in a new way. But nonetheless, THANKS ALMIGHTY for giving me this new phase and making it so beautiful for me again.THANKS for changing my vision from one aspect to another. This shift of frame is like changing the whole film. Having an aim to fulfill and dreams to chase..... and not playing with nature and let things go as decided. Till date I used to think keeping others as my priority and decided accordingly but now I'll keep myself if not ahead then atleast parallel but not a step behind. Life teaches you more than anything else. 


I did whatever I could till yesterday to change and I hope I succeeded too. Today I'm free and I'm enjoying my independence. Getting bound by something restricts your brain but being free leaves you fully aware and makes you go places with imagination taking you leaps ahead. Just trying to cope up with this new phase of life....... and I know I'll...........because even if nobody stands by me HE does... :)



So today onwards, no anonymous blogs and no mails from one box to another, no hiding of sadness behind a smile, no hiding of feelings and things so that others might not feel bad.


Now its just me....as I was a few years back....not bothered by future... living each day @ a time..... enjoying life to the hilt..... living it in my own unique style ;)  ....... taking a chill pill all the time......... I'm the way I'm.

New beginning @ 22Feb2010 (Phase 2) :)

Today is the last day. The last one year was very hard but time never remains same. It changes, brings new challenges, new opportunities.


Tomorrow will bring sunshine to me. A new beginning of a new life, new hopes, new challenges, new opportunities, new dreams and some old ones that took a back seat with time.


God bless me so that I start this new phase with a bang... :)

jaago re....

On 03JAN2010 I watched "3 idiots", a highly acclaimed movie for its message that it delivers to the society after "wake up sid", "munnabhai mbbs" etc. In my opinion film-makers are now taking a lead to send a message to the society. Well I think most of us think that the education system needs to be changed and must be revolutionized. But some of us will have to come forward and take initiative. A commendable step by the government in this direction has already been taken by allowing students to take 10th board exam a non-mandate. This will help reduce stress on tiny tots and to develop brain.

Confused :)

Even though i have planned to write a blog but I'm still confused what to write. Might be I'll not be able to write well but I think emotions matter more than that. Do give me a feedback so that it helps me grow.